So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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