Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
