i would punch a child for taco bell
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
