Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
