yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize