Me. At least after what I've been through.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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