Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
