Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
