I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
