Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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