Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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