I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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