Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
