porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
