ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
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He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
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Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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