i may or may not be watching the land before time
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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