no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
