We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I deserve this hangover.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
