Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
