I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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