It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
