got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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