i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
