the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
