Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
