Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
