i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm at about main and main street
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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