you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
