Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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