# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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