Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
