im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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