wat bout pragnant strippers??
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
