Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
