She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
