took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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