Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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