Ambien. No doubt about it.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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