even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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