butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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