last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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