how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Randomize
