It's a beautiful day for a hangover
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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