Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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