I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
