Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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