my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize