i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
