Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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