The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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