Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
