People in love make me want to vomit
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
