I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
