I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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