my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My penis needs a shock collar
I think weed is turning my hair brown
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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