4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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