I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
