i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
