The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
