I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
